Painful Chords

Sometimes the chords that strike are horribly painful. But still they strike. That is the important thing.

Tears can be good. Anguish brings forth life. Awakens you from the state of numbness and nothingness. And that is good.

Sorrow does come but joy will also follow. To not feel is truly sad.

I guess I am alive.

The Shaman — or Jesus?

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When I first became a Christian, I felt like scales had been removed from my eyes and I saw the beauty and riches of the life that held Jesus first. But I also saw the relationship between my worship of Him and the natural consequence of my living my life of grace according to His Word in a moral sense; i.e. the value and richness of living the moral life of the scriptures.

Interestingly, during that same time period, I ran across an old friend who was being instructed by Jehovah Witnesses and who felt her own life being transformed. The drawing card? The “sense” it made in the natural and the security she felt in having a “system” that made sense and the moral codes it offered. (I truly believe that in this decadent society we live, this “structured code” is one reason that both JW’s and Mormonism are growing so. [Too often, we preach it, but don’t live it. They at least seem to have a better handle on living it.] However, we know that Christianity is so much more than that.)

Those Who Have Left

I recently ran across a blog for those who have not only left the institutional church but have also walked away from our Lord. It is so incredibly sad in its content. My heart aches for them and for the incredibly legalistic and hedonistic leaders who lay such a foundation for their bitterness to grow in.

I can’t even begin to comprehend the spiritual and emotional tsunamis behind these decisions and am only so glad my faithful Lord and Savior, full of mercy and grace, and judgment, can. Reading their “testimonies” was one of the saddest things I have every done. Thank you, Jesus, for your faithfulness, even to these in such bitterness and pain.

Ramblings of an Un-Great Misfit

That title is probably not even a correct one, grammatically speaking. But then you are reading something written by one who has always enjoyed making up words. I got the only F I every got in college from Mrs. Davies when she failed one of my papers because I had Made Up a Word. Had to re-write the stupid thing. Boy would she have fun today!! But she was a great teacher and I loved her abundantly.

At any rate, this rant is sparked, if that is the right word (I do seem to be having trouble with words today!) by a posting made on my FB page asking how we (I) engage the culture. But, as I pondered over the question, I realized I wasn’t even sure what it was asking. Now that’s bad. I almost posted in return, “Not sure what you mean,” but then decided I could not admit my stupidity.

Trusting Him

Trusting God.

I’ve been thinking about trusting God and accepting things in our lives.

I love the story of when Jesus confronts Paul on the road to Damascus. He has this amazing conversation with him. Jesus asks Paul why he is persecuting Him. Really. Here is Paul, loving God, going about doing His business with true zeal. A religious leader of all religious leaders. Doing the works of God. And yet Jesus says he is persecuting Him.

I wonder. How often do we do the same thing?

In a Funk

I am in somewhat of a funk today. Actually, been so for the past several weeks. Not depressed. Not unhappy. Just disconnected. Wandering thoughts and desires and wishes and longings.

I want to sing. I want to dance. I long to worship my Lord in a powerful setting of corporate worship like we had in the 70’s and 80’s. I want a meaningful job where I work with pleasant, intelligent people who treat me like I am a person. I want to travel. I want to be thin again (no comments, please – it don’t work 🙂 .) I want to be with my kids in Hawaii. I want a gathering of my original family – just mom and dad and the nine sibs. It’s selfish, I know, for I love the spouses and my grands very much, but there is something deep within me that longs for just one more gathering of the “original fam” only.